I wish I could teleport
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
