What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
