Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
