the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
