my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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