You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Panties = found
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
