the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize