This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
