I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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