Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
