census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
