Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize