He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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