I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
