I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
