8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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