im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
