these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
