Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
