just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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