Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
