A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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