Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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