I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
