Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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