i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I will pee on everything he values.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
