I'm really into asian looking animals
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
