Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
