Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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