so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
