I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
