it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
