ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
