i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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