i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
