I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
