You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
