It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
