and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
