I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
