I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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