i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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