Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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