How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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