look no pants
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
