we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
