She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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