im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just found puke in my bra..
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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