I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
