i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
