making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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