Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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