it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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