Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
