am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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